Spontaneity and Plan...taneity???

I'm what people call a freedom follower, others call extroverted, some call adventurous and I call exquisitely normal. I find myself loving the spontaneity of life, that whatever comes up I am ready to go forth and conquer; or at least find thorough satisfaction in what I have just allowed myself to get into. However, this type of life-attitude is very inhibitive of making plans. What if I make these plans and something better comes along is a thought which frequents the forefront of my thought quite often. I don't want to get tied down. I want to be able to be free! Hence, the names. Except, is this a good thing? Is it good to be always ready to jump at an opportunity and always ready to accept a new adventure that falls into my lap? Honestly, I love it. I love the spontaneity of my life and being able to plan a last minute camping trip or a last minute night of fun-filled splendor. Do I have commitment issues? Absolutely, not. Except, yes. I can commit to something in advance that I know is going to be fun; but when the unknown of how fun it can be comes to mind I hesitate. So, I only act out of what I know I am going to get out each situation. Oh, wow, self-seeking much???

Colossians 3:16-18 (New International Version)

¹⁶ Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. ¹⁷ And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

I'm not saying this verse says to make plans or not makes plans. I will say though that whatever it is I do, decide to make or to not make plans, I must do so with the glory of my LORD in mind. Not my own personal satisfaction. For it is in HIM and through HIM that I am justified which forces my thought patterns to mold into the likemindedness of Christ Jesus.

Philippians 2:5-7 (New International Version)

 ⁵ In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

 ⁶ Who, being in very nature^[a] God,
   did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
⁷ rather, he made himself nothing
   by taking the very nature^[b] of a servant,
   being made in human likeness.

I have noticed, prominently, especially recently about my lack of concern for what I can bring to the glory of GOD through my situations and more for the concern of how happy each situation will bring me. Perhaps this is a confession of sin, more so it is meant to be a thought to consider. How we live our lives ought to reflect JESUS CHRIST in everything, literally everything, that we do.


Today a man and woman came into the weights class that I was teaching and I noticed two things. One, they had inquisitive looks on their faces and two they were looking for someone to talk to. In the gym I  teach in, there are two full size basketball courts (which during the time I teach are taken up by a volleyball class) and the cage where the weights and exercise machines are. They came in the entrance and after a few moments of standing and searching they walked the width of the courts to the cage, at the entrance of which I say at my table. I stood up and introduced my self first and last name. PAUSE/side note. I find to be a lost art in the world today as more and more people only introduce their first name; doesn't everyone know you have a first and last name??? Introduce, by definition, means cause to know someone personally. This is not possible without a genuinely sincere initiation of allowing someone to know who you are with a first AND last name. Step down from soap box of blog... RESUME. What took me by surprise was after the man introduced himself and his wife, the question he asked me was "Are you a Christian?" I replied affirmatively and he then asked "Like a real Christian? 'Cuz there's a difference you know. Isn't there?" Of course there's a difference! He said he could tell by how I acted. I don't know how he could tell, but this was encouraging for me to hear. I'm not trying to brag and let me tell you how I am not bragging. I also was convicted of what he said. "'Cuz there's a difference, you know." 


Let us not be taken advantage of, by the devil, in our moments we take for granted. For it is in every moment we live as Christians that we are Christians. We make a choice, in every situation, how we might live. 


"If you have an hour, will you not improve that hour, instead of idling it away?" ....this is my conviction

Long Time.... No Talk

Is it just me.... or does talking to GOD seem a whole lot easier on paper? After moving down to Waco I have found myself, once again stagnate. Maybe stagnate isn't the right word? Probably more like stubborn! I have successfully managed to find myself trying to do it my way, e'er day, for too many days.... Perhaps this blog helps keep me on track, but probably it's just GOD givin' me a swift kick in the butt to get me back on track. Not that I've been entirely off track by any means, but let me be up front; whether I'm off track by 6 inches or 6 miles.... I'm off track.

In my search to find a place of corporate worship (I figure I'm in grad school, so I should feel the need to use more elaborate phrases rather than simply church, lol) I have found myself turning to iTunes and listening to the podcasts of what I consider my home church in CO. I recognize the fact that I never fully got involved in this church but the worship and messages that I experience there are unlike any other that I have ever experienced. I long to go back there and get involved! However, that will be at least 2 years away so in mean time and in between time I've been attending 2 different places down here in Tejas.... still I keep coming back to those podcasts.... and here's what I found.

I have to say, both pastors of this church challenge me every single message I hear. Every stinkin' one hits me right where I'm at. This lets me know, that GOD is speaking to me. Welp, this one involves a little bit of David and a lot, like a lot a lot, bit of GOD. I love reading David because for one he is a super genius, only superseded by the wisdom of his son Solomon; and for two he's brutally honest. Today we went through the first 18 verses of Psalm 139, talking all about how GOD knows us. He doesn't just see us, and he hasn't just created us to leave us alone and watch us freak out on the Jersey Shore (which I haven't watched but I've heard is entirely.... amusing). GOD intimately knows us! Without fail he knows every single molecular and atomic property about our human as well as the exact identity or our person, character and soul. Our emotions, our actions and our thoughts GOD knows! To quote the movie Avatar, "I see you" is what GOD says to us, or "I see into you". HE doesn't simply acknowledge our presence but HE recognizes who we are, what we are, where we are, when we are and why we are.

So I have recently finished my first assignments and test as a grad student, opening up a weekend of free time. How do I spend it? Sleeping, working out, playing ball, eating... repeat. GOD? Oh ya, I have time on Sunday. I'll pay my dues. Please! GOD is there right in front of me saying, "I am yours to ignore. I am yours to reject.... I am yours to accept." I love how David describes how much GOD knows about us, and I love the transition into how much GOD pursues us! HE never quits! Like a conversation without words, GOD knows us and on top of this HE relentlessly pursues us. Pursues me! I mean, I know this stuff but to hear it again is like breathing in Rocky Mountain Air or drinking crisp Rocky Mountain water after living in Tejas for all of a month and a half... no pun intended. Actually it's better than that because I am still deprived of such luxuries that come with living in CO in terms of air and water (which most people don't even get water around the world, so living in Texas might be the luxury that I need to realize). But this GOD who, NIGHT&DAY seeks after me saying "I SEE YOU! I KNOW YOU! I KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT YOU" I'M YOURS TO REJECT!" entirely consumes my being every time I hear about HIM. I want to highlight only a few verses because I would like for you to read all of Psalm 139 for yourself but these verses were the highlights of what I heard today.

Psalm 139:2 "YOU know when I sit and when I rise, YOU perceive my thoughts from afar"
-The pastor likened this to a marriage and how a husband or wife are able to look across the room and know exactly what each other are thinking

Psalm 139:7-12 "Where can I go from YOUR SPIRIT? Where can I flee from YOUR presence? If I go up to the heavens, YOU are there; if I make my bed in the depths YOU are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there YOUR hand will guide me, YOUR right hand will hold me fast. If I say 'Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become darkness around me' even the darkness will not be dark to YOU; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to YOU."
-In my highs, in my lows, in the mundane, in the complicated, in the east, in the west... EVERYTHING... GOD wants everything! GOD is there with me in everything

My absolute favorite part of all of this is David's response to this. How easy is it for us to try (notice the lack of success in that word) and run from God? How often do I try and do that in my own life? All toooooo often, is the correct answer. But David; his response?

Psalm 139:18b "When I awake, I am still with YOU"
-David is with GOD. A conscious choice, through all of his crap and yes it is crap. I wouldn't call having  an affair, murdering the husband, lying about it and ignoring it anything more than crap but certainly much less. GOD relentlessly pursues David, and David answers the call, "When I awake, I am still with YOU." I love the "still" as he identifies, YOU have never left me and "I am in". I LOVE IT! David is in and his life will never be the same.

You may have noticed the typical Christian pattern here... especially from my last post. To have a "God Moment" or "Spiritual High", blog about it and ask for a response.... But, as much as this is exactly that. It's not. I am human, I am learning but I am living. This is how I live. This is how I want to live and I know I will fail again. But lessons learned, as I have posted on here, are experience that hopefully others can learn from. It's not about the followers (let's be honest, I only have one and he is a much more distinguished believer than myself) but if just one person reads this and thinks hey, God sounds like a pretty cool dude then this is worth all the criticism. Maybe this is just me sayin' "I'm in."

GOD >>> LIFE = KNOW

Proverbs 1:7 (English Standard Version)

 ^7(A) The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge;
   fools despise wisdom and instruction.
__________________________________________________________________________________

It is one week away, the move to Waco, TX and the start of my grad school career... Bittersweet??? MUCH. I have been reflecting a lot, this summer, on my life and where the LORD has brought me. YES, without the LORD I would not be here today; nor anywhere close. From my dramatic high school life to my restorative college experience I have now found myself at the feet of the LORD, knowing it is HE who brings me through all things. I have learned what it means to have a zeal for the LORD; and I have also learned what life is like without this zeal. Knowing that I am leaving for a different journey, one in which I feel as though I am starting with only GOD to turn to, I have craved spending time with friends and especially family. New friendships and old friendships I have cherished and I know what is to truly love people.

Recently an acquaintance from high school took his life and although we were not entirely close my heart breaks for his family and close friends. His close friends are some of my close friends. Seeing them in so much pain is so hard. Why does such tragedy exist in such a world as this? Why must this be allowed to happen? Why should anyone be brought to the point of such horrific emotions and actions? WHY?! The LORD, I do not fully understand. HE is not for me to fully understand.

The LORD is for me to fully fear. In situations such as this the LORD is at work saving those whom HE loves from the pain of this sinful world. Reflecting on my recent mission trip to Costa Rica I remember seeing so much pain and not even thinking that it was possible to live in such a place. The pain and sufferings I not only heard about but witnessed was indescribable. Coming home, things were happy go lucky and refreshing... for a while. Then the routine came back and apathetic emotions consumed my Mon-Sat life while Sun was still the "holy day" where church, communion and tithing were not optional.

This routine was the same up until last night while I was at church. A different church than I normally attend but still one that I have attended in the past. I contacted a good friend to see if they were attending church this evening and they proceeded to inform me of our friend's tragic weekend. I sat through the sermon very distracted by what had just been made known to me and heard, by quantity of what the pastor said, very little. In magnitude of what he said, I heard more than enough. "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; but fools despise wisdom and discipline." Proverbs 1:7......

Do I fear the LORD? Do I value my faith enough to have a zeal for the LORD and share him passionately with all of those whom I call my close friends??? What is this life if but short? The pastor also pointed out what little time we truly have and how much more we realize this the older we get. The brevity of this weekend, if but only one evening, has changed my perspective on my faith. It is not something to take for granted nor is it something that I can passively dismiss as able to be procrastinated. Life is too short to take anything for granted, especially faith.

At the end of the service, Romans 8:31-32 flashed up on the screens and I wrote it on the back of my hand. As I lay in bed last night I took notice of this writing and looked up the verses. I read the whole section of where these 2 verses were located and have now pasted it below. I have emphasized verses 31-32 and 38-39 in light of this past weekend; I hope it can bring comfort to those whom it is directed.

Romans 8:28-39 (English Standard Version)

²⁸And we know that for those who love God all things work together^(A) for good,^[a] for^(B) those who are called according to his purpose. ²⁹For those whom he^(C) foreknew he also^(D) predestined^(E) to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be^(F) the firstborn among many brothers. ³⁰And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also^(G) justified, and those whom he justified he also^(H) glorified.

 ³¹What then shall we say to these things?^(I) If God is for us, who can be^[b] against us? ^32(J) He who did not spare his own Son but^(K) gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? ³³Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect?^(L) It is God who justifies. ^34(M) Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—^(N) who is at the right hand of God,^(O) who indeed is interceding for us.^{[c] 35}Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? ³⁶As it is written,

   ^(P) "For your sake^(Q) we are being killed all the day long;
   we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered."

 ³⁷No, in all these things we are more than^(R) conquerors through^(S) him who loved us. ³⁸For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, ³⁹nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.